Update on Iley"s surgery

It is NOT happening.......at least not now.  Some where along the way between the Cardiologist in KC and the Surgeons at Mayo....we had a miscommunication.  I called up to Mayo last week to get some details on what we needed to do to get ready etc.........they said. "we have no surgery date at this time"  WHAT?????  Oh....so what you are saying is we will drive 11 hours to meet with a doctor so he can see Iley in person, and do another echo cardiogram that she's already had done once....and this doctor has already  looked at it...then turn around and drive 11 hours home to wait for a future surgery date????  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!!!! UGH!!!!!!  That's a stinking 22 hours in the CAR with 2 five year olds, a whole lot of gas, a motel bill........sigh.........a baby sitter for the ones left at home......then sometime in the near future.....we get to do it all again!  Ok I'm done ranting.....since there's not a single thing I can do about it.  But for the record.....I think it's a rotten deal!

We ARE still on schedule for Wren's surgery though! October 5th for bilateral cochlear implants!  YAY!

Now onto life around here since last Thursday.  Not too interesting, but here's the pictures.

People ask me all the time how the boys are doing.  They are doing amazing with the girls.  They are SUCH GOOD big brothers!  They dote on, pack, and entertain these two little pixies.  They have to kiss them goodnight and the first thing in the morning, they are wondering if they can get them up.....the answer is NO!!!!  Let them SLEEP!   BUT.... They also padlock their bedroom doors to safe guard their possessions, and are not above setting up a distraction so they can sneak off with their friends for boy time!  And yes they get highly annoyed at them too. But for the most part.....they are my HEROS!  I LOVE them ALL! 

Sherman carrying Iley in from  the bus.....because it's easier than waiting on her......

 Harrison holding Wren's hand on the way up the sidewalk....walking patiently at her speed...which granted...IS faster than Iley's:).....AND......she's much heavier to carry!

 First thing Friday morning....no preschool....out comes the DREADED play dough:(  I'm SUCH a bad mom!!!  I HATE play dough!  It's SO messy!!  Wait...maybe I at least get points for allowing play dough???

 Then they moved their operations across the kitchen ......wouldn't want to keep the mess contained to one area after all......that would be much to easy to clean up!

 See that lovely pile of play dough...nicely heaped on the side......well it must have evaporated up on to the ceiling....and condensated.......and RAINED PLAY DOUGH!!!!!!!  NO ONE knew how the play dough ended up COVERING the entire kitchen?????  Some times the blank.....no comprehende eeengleeesh .....look is SO HANDY!!!!!!  Have I already mentioned.....my feelings for Play dough???

 Moving on.........update on the beard growth. This is at 3 weeks. I agree with Kyndahl...thumbs DOWN:(

 Here she hugs him and says "I LOOOVE YOU."  He kisses her........

 Then she says "Are you so excited about going with me to pick out color swatches for the wedding?"  I think his face says it all!  I told her if she wants to take someone who will be excited....call one of her girl friends or mothers!!

 Sherman was sticking up for Thatcher...something like "you're going to make him go with you to do that?  How Boring"

 This is Saturday evening before we left for Sherman's game.  I got the girls all dressed and thought they looked so cute......and since  Aunt Gwen's tired of the white door....I took them out on the porch to TRY to get some cute pictures of them.  They were a little less than cooperative....so theses are just real life shots.  Iley will usually willingly pose for a picture...she just doesn't always know exactly what expression I want....and she has plenty of expressions in her arsenal!!  Wren on the other hand decided she wasn't going to stop, or look at the camera! 

Iley was singing here.....don't remember what...but she had plenty of hand movements to go with it.  You can't tell in the pictures, but she had her feet crossed and was propped on the pole.

 I think I told her the girl on her shirt was smiling........so she had to check...she really isn't smiling either....oops.

 Wren....busy........not looking.......

 still not looking.......and NOT gonna stop...... (did you notice the girl on her shirt has cute black glasses too..she was pleased at that....don't mom deserve a picture for buying you such a cute shirt??  NOT today.)

 She keeps forgetting that she has a mother that can be just as stubborn as she is.  I sat her on the railing, where she had to sit still and hold on......or fall off...........but she still wouldn't LOOK at me. 

 She's so adorable.....and won't let you get a good picture of her! 

 She's getting a little peeved at me here!

 This is at the game......they love walking and climbing on the bleachers.

 Snacks: ....for Iley...a bag of dry cereal.....for Wren, a bag of 6 little smokies.  One Loves carbs, the other loves her meat.

 They were holding hands here.  They went up and down these steps many times.  Wren would jump down one step......then Iley would jump....then Wren would jump one more.....then Iley.....always holding on to each other:)  So cute:)

 If you have food......you instantly have 2 new beggars friends.

 We went to Pizza Hut after the game.....

 ...but waiting on pizza is SO boring!!!!

 While some put their bibs on their head for entertainment.....others played football strategy with all the salt and cheese shakers.

Moving on.........Sunday after church, Ash swung the girls while we fixed lunch. 

 That's a lot of ruffly pink skirt going on.

 I think he was growling at Iley.....you know... to add to the excitement.

 This is a good picture of how she feels about the eye patch.  We have been trying to patch for 4 hours in the evenings on school days, and 8 hours on Fri. Sat. and Sun.......Sunday we had to cut it short.  She was beyond cooperating, and it was not going to end pretty!  I can't say that I really blame her.....but what do we do??

 Clean and jammied...watching a cartoon ...while mom mops up the bathroom.....they can get more water on the floor than a whale!  Iley's English is improving....she hollers from the bathroom....."MA......water.....floor......Wren.......again."  There was a pause between each word while she thought up the next one!  Poor Wren wasn't looking at her and had no idea she had just been ratted out!  She looked a little startled when mom came stomping in.  Don't let their innocent look fool you!

 See Aunt Gwen....the reason we use "the white door"...is because the other option is so ugly....and we have to shut the doors so you can't see how messy the rest of the house is:)

 Wren wasn't posing for no one....no How.

 So of course Iley is like....oh.....is that how we are supposed to be acting.........NO Iley it's NOT!

 ...or like this either!

 I give up lets go outside to ride bikes and watch for Mrs. Kay.

The Color...that used to be.

I have certain friends that have been permanently scarred by the color.....they can't handle it in any shade because of it's over use by a person they know....they call it "the color that used to be" and have struck it from their color wheel.  One even sent me an email that said "Oh no, I just had a terrible thought, will they force a purple day on small children?? There should be LAWS against such as that!!!

 I'm afraid so! The note sent home from preschool said ~ Thursday: Purple.......I will call this egg plant....to spare their sensibilities:)

 I was busy getting Wren ready and had her stand in front of "the door"....when I turned around...Iley was standing there...stark naked!!!  They obviously have no issues with nudity.....their dolls...or their own!  She looks concerned doesn't she!

I divided the purple egg plant up between the two of them:) One on top, the other on the bottom.  I think it's high time to retire this dress of Iley's!  Either she's grown......or it has shrunk!  I think it's a size 2T!

 Iley kept leaning too hard and falling through the door (it doesn't latch) into the bathroom....she was cackling about it.  Wren would sign "no no no" to her and shut it......only for Iley to do it again!

 Then Wren signed "silly".....I agree......yes Iley is SILLY!  She also pointed to the rained on rugs on the way outside, and with an ewww face, signed WET.  People.......we are gaining language!  One slow word, by one slow word!  Never take the language your children know and over hear and pick up for granted!  It should be a CRIME to allow a child to live in total silence with no language!  With No way to label anything in their environment, no way to tell you they were jumping on the trampoline, and fell and scratched their leg, no way to tell you who someone in a picture is, because all they have is a picture of them in their head....with no name to go with it.  No way to tell you how their day at school was, or who they played with or how their feelings were hurt. Or what makes them happy.  Or what is making her so frustrated.  Communication is vital for relationships. How do you explain that she is going to have surgery to help her hear..what's hear?  How do you explain that when the timer goes off....THEN you get a turn having the flyswatter (yes it's fought over! IT's a new one shaped like a house that the pest control guy left)  Another mom of a deaf child and I were discussing some of the things they do that drive us crazy......like smashing her face fiercly against mine to the point it hurts, or pressing her face and chin in my hand. hard.  Touching, touching touching, rubbing my arms, my legs, my face, wanting touch always.  She said she thinks it's because they want to have a deeper relationship, and connect more, but they don't have the tools needed. Sad!  AND FRUSTRATING!  For her. For us.  Thank God for your childrens language!  We feel the language barrier less and less with Iley because she knows what language is, and how to use it.  She's had language.  It's not foreign.  She knows things have names and wants to know what they are called now.  But when she's sad, or frustrated she doesn't have the words she needs to communicate either.   You wonder....am I being too hard on her for throwing a fit?  Is she greiving....or just being stubborn and trying to control us?  Is she mad, sad, tired, hungry, JUST TELL ME PLEASE!!! 

 They were chasing each other around the tree while waiting for Wren's teacher.  When she got here, Wren wouldn't get into the car until she had kissed Iley goodbye...several times....I finally had to just put her in...she kept trying to look around me and wave at Iley and sign "I Love You" to her....then she looks at me.... sort of like "oh yeah...the round headed kid" and remembered to kiss me good bye.  EXCUSE ME!!! WHO got up 4 times in the night last night because you cried out???  It sure wasn't Iley! Sheesh. oh well....I am SO SO glad they are bonding and like each other ......most of the time.

Then back inside to finish getting Iley ready.  We had to add a little purple....I can't call it anything else.....to her hair.

 I'm not sure what the pool float is all about.....or why it's blown up....or in the house.  It came from the deep dark depths of "Mr. Mess's room"  That is a scary place folks!    I'm sure the pelican was glad to escape.

 Perched on top of Big brother Harrison eating her gogurt.....he was making her bear talk, or dance or something.

This was before school....before Wren got up....she looks thrilled with all her fans don't she.  She has this ongoing rejection of Sherman.  He has to bribe her to let him hug her.  She really loves him,  She just knows he wants her to....so she won't.  When he doesn't really act like he cares...she's fine.  Stink pot.  Wren on the other hand....will take lovin from anyone any time.

Let’s Not Rescue or Save, Please

I like this author's perspective! 

Let’s Not Rescue or Save, Please

September 12, 2012 | Author Kylee Craggett

Your family is doing such a neat thing–you are literally saving four kids.

I cringe upon every mention of “saving”or “rescuing” orphans and vulnerable children. It depicts this picture in my mind, a picture of a prince and princess galiantly riding in on a big white horse, and swooping up helpless kids from a dark, gloomy orphanage. What that image does is it places the adoptive family up on a high pedestal, and it gives the notion that the kids are forever indebted to the adoptive family for doing some great, high and mighty task.
What a horribly dangerous place to be.
If not careful, that thought process can very quickly turn into “just be glad that you live here and not on the streets.” or “why are you complaining about that food, at least you HAVE food?”
It is said all the time, “adoption brings a family together, but in the process it tears another family apart.” While it is true that “adoption” is not what tears a family apart, the reality is, these kids have experienced pain and hurt beyond what we realize. Whether adoption happened at birth or at the age of 17, there was a loss experienced. I firmly believe that as Christians we have a high calling to “look after orphans and widows in their distress.” I believe that when we approach adoption in a “rescuing” sense, then we are undermining these kids feelings of loss, which deserve to be validated. Not to mention, we are exalting ourselves in a very false way and taking the glory away from the Lord.
Adoption is a gorgeous picture of what our Lord has done for us, when “He predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will (Ephesians 1:5).” It is such a privilege to get to be a tiny part of this great master piece that He is creating. I do truly believe that He can take hard circumstances and bring much goodness and joy out of them-adoption, in many cases, is a perfect picture of that. Because of our mandate to care for orphans, and the passion that the Lord has so clearly given me, I will always be a huge advocate for foster care and adoption. It is where my heart is!
However, any saving or rescuing is done by our Lord Jesus. He saves us, all of us, from eternal separation. He died for us us, all of us, and saved us by grace through faith. He has truly rescued and delivered, when we are so unworthy.
“He must become greater, I must become less.”
When I look at my little siblings, I see the miraculous work of the Lord. He is using my broken family to fulfill some big things, but that is just the point…HE is doing it, not us.
There are (roughly) 210 million children worldwide who have experienced loss in a much more profound way than I will probably ever know. That loss and the feelings that accompany it deserve to be validated and the Lord deserves to be exalted as He heals and restores.
I am all about caring for vulnerable children, loving them, and advocating on their behalf. I just get really really uncomfortable when someone mentions that we are “saving ” kids.
No, that is not us, it is the Lord.

________________________________________

Kylee Craggett

Kylee is a 19-year-old college student who is passionately pursuing a degree in Social Work while simultaneously learning what it means to be a big sister to kids from “hard places.” Her parents jumped into the crazy world of foster care just days before her 8th birthday and cared for numerous infants and toddlers over a 10-year time span; four of those children became permanent family members through adoption. Kylee loves sharing about foster care and adoption on her blog and is passionate about advocating on behalf of vulnerable children.