Family

Family
Lonely no More:)
And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. Matthew18:5



Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Praising Progress

Iley was swinging her "animals" on the porch swing.  When it would go up, it lifted her clear off the ground.

See the little doggie on the right......it belongs to Wren.....and is MUCH coveted by Iley!  Wren took a walk all around town with Mrs. Kay and visited the library, the ambulance building, saw a police man and many more things.  At the ambulance building they showed her in the ambulance and gave her the little dog.  So kind of them...........but TWO people......we need TWO!!  (Really it's fine Mrs. Kay)  It has taught Iley that she doesn't always get what Wren gets......even if you cry big crocodile tears.  I hugged her and told her "I know you want one too!  Mommy is sorry."  I also told her that Wren can't hear and she has to learn sign language and to listen.  But she wasnt' very thankful for her ears....she just wanted to take a walk with Mrs. Kay too!  Wren, bless her heart has very generously shared the little dog.......while making sure that it is known that it is HERS. 

Have I mentioned that we keep the egg producers in business??  5 dozen eggs a week!!! are consumed by this family!  (and NO I am not considering raising chickens) They had 2-1/2 eggs each, for breakfast, and another hard boiled egg for lunch.....along with some tasty oven rice.  (1/2 stick butter(not margarine) melted..slightly browned.. in a 9 x 13,  then....Pour on top of butter.....2-3/4 cup rice, 6 cups chicken broth, 1tsp salt. Cover with foil and bake at 350* for 1 hr.)  it comes out perfect, and DELICIOUS!!  or for a Mexican twist add 1 tsp of cumin, some fresh cilantro, and a can of green chiles!!!



 They were so excited about wearing their boots to school. 



We decided to try a new "game" with the girls today.......mostly for Wren.  Iley and I hid, and Wren and Kyndahl had to find us by listening.  We stayed out of sight and kept calling Wrens name.  She had to use her ears to hear us, and find us,  instead of her eyes.  We had to tell her "stop and listen"  so she would stop and be quiet so she could hear.  We did this over and over  and she definitely improved by the end of the game.  She still struggles to tell what direction the sound is coming from, but she could tell when she was getting closer and would get excited.  Once when Wren and I were hiding, I was yelling Iiiiiillllleeeeeeey, over and over......I told her "you try it"  aaaaahhhhllllll  she said:)  I WILL TAKE THAT!!!!!  She actually tried to put two letter sounds together!!!  Then we tried seeing if she could recognize who was calling her name.  Her and I sat outside the room and had Kyndahl, Iley, Harrison, and Sherman call her name randomly.  I would ask her "who's that?"  She could always get Iley, and most of the time Kyndahl, but she couldn't tell Harrison and Sherman apart.  I barely can so I thought she did pretty well!   Later I was reading a book to the girls that had a cow in it.  I told her the cow says MOOOOO.  I made the moooo sound several times, and Iley moooed....then Wren did a pretty good impression of a cow!!!!  We high fived and ya hooed!!  Progress people:) Progress!  We are praising God for progress.

Iley is doing awesome too.  She continues to learn and her speech, although a little hard to understand sometimes...it  is getting better.  She knows almost all of her letters (uppercase) and her and Wren can both sign the whole alphabet. 

Iley complains regularly that "She(Wren) not listen to me mom"  I know Iley, I know!  She not listen to me either!!  This is all of our biggest frustration!!!  We want to talk to her and help her understand the conversation......read her books....tell her what we are going to do.....anything...but....."she not listen to us:(" sigh........It is getting better, I know it is......but it's so far from where she needs to be that I get frustrated.  Really frustrated......It has come to the point where  I needed to repent.  I actually got down on my knees.....face down on the floor....and begged God for forgiveness.  I have unconsciously been holding Wren to my expectations......and in her failing to meet them, I have been unforgiving, and "felt" (I pray I've not acted) unloving.  I've held out on her.  Withheld affection. Affection that she desperately craves, and deserves, and has been starved of for years.  It's ugly.  It;s pride.  It;s sin. I should have been big enough, loving enough, to meet her where she is......NOT where "I" think she ought to be.  What if this is how God treated me?  How frustrated He must feel with me! "she not listen to me!!"   Wren is 6 years old. with 5-1/2 of those years spent fighting for her rights.....alone.... with no language.....only the hyper vigilance of her eyes.   I KNOW this.  I even understand most of the time why she does some of the things she does.  But it's HARD to live with every single day.....and I am so pitifully human and selfish.   So Begging God.....I have prayed, ........."please help me to see her like you do, what words come to mind to describe this child of yours?  Help me Lord to see her like that!" .... and God in His mercy....has answered.......These words: (remember, I am at my wits end, thinking ugly thoughts about this small human given to me to love, begging God to help me see her in a different light)  The words he  gave me......the words that flooded my mind...... JOYFUL, LOVING, HEART OF GOLD, GENEROUS, HELPFUL, SMART.  Now who wouldn't be thankful for a daughter with that description?  The actions we see right now, do not define "who" she is, or what.....with God...she will become.  So I repent, and ask for forgiveness for my selfish pride.........and pray daily for strength, wisdom, and HIS love to fill me, and pour out on these little daughters entrusted to my care.  Thank you Lord for the lessons I'm learning through them.  Thank you..... even though it's hard, that I am learning, stretching, growing........and.......  That in my weakness, You are Great. 

2 Thessalonians 3: 3-5
But the Lord is faithful, who will establish you and guard you from the evil one.  And we have confidence in the Lord concerning you, both that you do and will do the things we command you.
Now may the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the patience of Christ.

The Grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen. 2 Thessalonians3:17

12 comments:

  1. What a neat game to play with Wren and to work with her like that. I know those little things are helping her even if it seems slow. She WILL get it. Bless you for being so open and sharing. God is so kind and loving when we pour out our hearts to Him. You are doing a wonderful job with those little girls even though there are challenges just like we all have. God will lovingly forgive and keep on loving you. Love you dear sister.

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    1. Thank you sweet friend for your kind words of encouragement:) Love you!!

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  2. Judy, I love reading about the girls progress and yours! Adoption is not for the faint of heart! I've learned that it reveals in me many things I do not like at all; yet God in his love and mercy is there to love and forgive me!

    What a special treat for Miss Wren to take her walk with Mrs. Kay. I loved how you played Hide and Seek to help Wren learn to listen and hear! You are so cleaver to think of that!

    Much love and respect coming my way for you and your beautiful family!

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    1. The love and respect is coming right back at you! Along with a few prayers for you and your girls:) So thankful for all the people on this journey of life with me.

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  3. Oh, Judy, I am so with you in this, cycling through expecting too much at the expense of the soul I really do love, even though I am acting and feeling far from love. Just last week I had a similar spiraling down and had to remind myself of the same thing - that I have a wonderful son on many different levels. He just doesn't like to listen to me. And that is so frustrating. But it can't be everything. Praise the Lord for his kindness in reminding you of the whole little girl, not just the parts that are painfully obvious to you.

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    1. Thank you Martita:) I know you know what I deal with, and how hard it is. It is just so so frustrating when you want so badly to help them, and they won't do their part to allow that help to happen. Praising the Lord in all things. For each little step of the journey. For a while I would hardly allow myself to celebrate the little steps because the goal is so far away. But God is working on me:) He is always at work, whether I see it in the moment or not. I just pray I don't mess it up!......sigh.

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  4. oh dear, i don't know how to do this... let me try again! i love the way God works, don't you! Thanks for sharing what He is teaching you! The peice you shared about asking God for the words HE uses for Wren really touched me.... i need to do that more in my own life.

    the game you played with Wren was a really neat idea! I just wonder though, does she have one implant or two? Because with only one implant, it is impossible to tell direction... i speak from experience here! But she would have been able to tell when she was closer, since it would have sounded louder. With love from Mary Frances

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    1. Hi Mary Frances!! Yes.....God has a way of humbling us like no one else:) I actually read that on another mother's blog that was struggling with her child. It hit me hard and I immediately got down and prayed! I NEEDED that in a big way. I am so thankful God doesn't always give us just what we want immediately, but allows us to grow in the process....and ultimately grow closer to Him in our need.

      Wren has 2 implants received at the same time in October. She's been activated since October 25th. She relies so much on her eyes, that she won't be quiet and LISTEN....she just looks and looks. I had to tell her over and over to stop and listen. She is hearing more each day and trying to immitate sound more.

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  5. Hi! My name is michelle. I just want to let you know how VERY encouraging your blog has been to me and my husband, Sam. We have been following for a few months. We are in the process of trying to adopt two children from china, like you did. Your blog is probably our favorite, because of honest posts like this. On the difficult days of the adoption process i come here and your daughters (and sons) brighten my day. So, thank you. God is using you to encourage two people all the way down in Alabama.
    We would love to know more about the challenges and blessings of adopting two at the same time.
    Again, thank you for your blog and this post.
    Blessings, Michelle

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    1. Michelle, I would love to talk with you anytime! Feel free to email me! judy@westwindwood.net If you have any specific questions, or any subject you want me to address, let me know. You are right.....it IS hard to be totally transparent......but good for my pride! I know how much other peoples transparency has helped me! It is hard to know how much to share, and how much to keep private for the girls' sake.
      Blessings,
      Judy

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  6. Ditto from Michelle's husband. We are both excited when 'Iley and Wren' have a new post. I know that I am most encouraged by the posts that are probably the most difficult for you to share. Thank you for your candor. Sam


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    1. Thank you both for your comments! I love to hear from my readers! Thanks for your encouraging words as well.

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