Lonely no More:)
And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. Matthew18:5

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Before you adopt.......

OH SO TRUE!!!  I did NOT write this.....but I could have......if of course I could write this well!  If you are thinking of the process of adopting.... or have just adopted......READ EVERY WORD!  I added pictures:) they weren't in the original post.  To read more from this author click on the title below.

 Before you adopt.... should really read this. Because I promise
you won't find this in the 10 hours of Hague adoption


Before you adopt, you are required to participate in 
so many hours of pre-adoption training,
read books, go to seminars,
and fill out Q & A's.

And you think that all of this work
would prepare you for this sweet child
you have prayed and longed for.

But it doesn't.

Truth is, you really need to get knee deep
 in someone's life who has adopted,
 ask hard questions, listen to their experiences
and then find another adoptive family and do it again.

Many, MANY of my friends have had the same
initial experiences with their new child.

The problem for pre-adoptive parents
is that not many post-adoptive parents 
talk about how incredibly hard it is
in the beginning.

And you are thrown for a loop when your
child comes to you.

How this sweet baby doesn't smell like yours.

Or feel like yours,

Or that for some, there is not an attachment
 like you thought there should be.

Or how you really don't feel like you love this child
like you thought you would,

Or you may feel like you are babysitting a 
cute baby/toddler/child who definitely is not yours.

I  know so many mommas who have felt this way
felt that they were doing something wrong 
because NO ONE talks about these feelings.

They isolated themselves and ultimately 
became very depressed.

Because we don't want to be seen as not loving this 
sweet munchkin.
Because we don't want all of our hard work to be pointless.

I mean WE filled out all that paperwork, fundraised,
and flew to bring our child home.

We should be ecstatic! 
And we aren't.
And we are left wondering why this isn't
working out like we thought.

Or perhaps you have had people telling you
from the beginning of your adoption
that this is a bad idea.

You most definitely do not want to prove them right,

As long as you are worrying about
what other people are thinking,
 you are NEVER going to have the right perspective.

This isn't about what they think,
it's about God and the way he choose to work in our lives.

"“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,” 
declares the Lord.
 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, 
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Isaiah 55: 8-9

God has plans.

Plans for your sweet child.

Plans for you.

And in the midst of all of these difficult, unexpected
plans, He is doing a work in YOU.

Changing YOU, molding YOU,
whispering to YOU, loving YOU....
in the most difficult, unexpected, lonely,
uncomfortable, disappointing moments of your dreams and plans.

YOU are being changed and you are learning
to love your child like Christ loves you already.

 Love that is not dependent on how well you love back


For any momma's out there feeling like they are doing 
something wrong, you are most definitely not.
It takes time to fall in love with your new child 
(at least for a lot of families it does)
and one day you will. 

And remember, your child is a gift, even if  they don't come packaged just how you expected.
Even if they are this adorable.......IT. IS. HARD.  BUT....oh how God is changing us:) Praise His Holy name!


1 comment:

  1. This is so good and I'm sure it fits your heart so well Judy. God is with you and is working with you in changing these little girls lives. I know he is changing you too and molding you into a more wonderful woman of God than you already were. What a wonderful gift these girls have been given to have you and Troy as their parents. You are doing great. Praying for you dear.